Brookdale Captain enjoys his hat-trick ace
(with pics)
BROOKDALE Golf Club Captain Garry ‘Gazza’ Smith, also known as the club’s Bionic Man for the number of body replacements and repairs he has enjoyed and endured during a long sporting career, was delighted to notch his third hole-in-one at his beloved club.
It came on the par three on the tricky 169-yard par three 11th hole playing in the Derek Miller KO singles competition.
Gazza, who plays off 12 handicap, hit a sweet 5-iron into a stiff breeze and it never left the flag to go straight into the hole.
Gazza lost the match but was able to celebrate his hat-trick of aces with the first coming several years ago on the old third hole (now a practice hole by the clubhouse.
Gazza said: “It was witnessed by one of our old, now departed, members Colin Whittaker who played for my old club Sheffield Wednesday and Oldham – from the fifth tee he shouted ‘It’s -----gone in Yorkie!’.
“The other ace was on our 16th on a temporary par three and then on the 17th hole I lipped out from a 1 and had to settle for a two instead for what would have been a record of some sort in scoring two aces with successive shots!
Garry recovers his ball from the 11th hole
Didsbury stars in the prizes
(with pics)
THREE Didsbury stars got their rewards for their efforts on the course and their generosity off it in a busy week.
‘Electric’ Ewan McCray was announced as the Golfer of the Year for winning the Ecletic top spot for his consistent form throughout the summer with the former star cricketer having the best aggregate for his top six finishes.
Bill ‘Heavy Metal’ Tunstead is looking forward to seeing his name in gold letters on another club honours board after winning the coveted Bill Dale Trophy with a neat haul of 40 points..
Finally Brian Tetlow has not done much on the golf course but a generous donation to the Golf Foundation in a raffle organised by WGTB Golf and Manchester Teacher’s Golf Society, which raised over £600 for the charity saw Brian win the top prize
Brian’s politest title at the club is ‘Lucky Liverpudlian’ and he can live up to that after winning a £200 Etiqus Timepiece which he was presented with by Seniors stalwart Alan Genter.
Pics 1 Ewan McCray congratulated by Captain Mike Black,
2 Bill Tunstead points out where his name will be going on the Bill Dale honours board.
3 Brian Tetlow receives his Etiqus timepiece from Alan Genter.
Congratulations to MTGS member Mike Field who has been elected to serve on the Cheshire GU Executive Committee for the next three years.
Marks has 50 in his sights
FORMER member of Didsbury GC, Heaton Park GC and Davyhulme Park GC and Virgin Atlantic European winner Mark Attwell is now enjoying his membership at Burnley GC and looking to celebrate his 50th year in style and with purpose.
He was also Captain of the 79-year-old Manchester Teachers’ Golf Society in 2014 when his chosen charity was in aid of the Hearing Dogs for Deaf People Charity.
Now in his 50th year Mark has set himself the challenge of playing in 50 singles Opens at different courses during the year and looking to raise at least £500 for the Hearing Dogs charity.
He has used his workplace transport logistical skills to great effect to sort out dates, times and venues across the North Region and well beyond to form his ambitious programme in 2016.
Mark said: “I have a fundraising link on https://www.justgiving.com/Mark-Attwell1 and anyone wishing to support this worthy cause can do so via the link.
“I chose the charity because my mother is profoundly deaf and has great support from the charity.
“As well as the opens, that are listed below I am also playing in three Virgin Atlantic Golf Days and three Mixed Opens.
“The current list of events is: Hesketh, Oldham, Fleetwood, West Lancs, Collingtree Park, Bath, North Devon on consecutive days, Pleasington, Woodhall Spa, Appleby, Manchester Hopwood, Haddington, West Lothian, Virgin Moor Park, World Woods Florida, Ulverston, Royal Ashmore Park, Conwy, The Addington, Morecambe, Lytham Green Drive, Carlisle, Halifax, Ashton-u-Lyne, Dewsbury, Kirby Lonsdale, Hawkstone Park, Accrington, West End, Knott End, JB Clitheroe, Crompton and Royton, Gillingham, Letchworth, Blackpool North Shore, Nelson, Halifax Bradley Hall, Lancaster, Felixstowe Ferry, S and A, Preston, Crow Nest, Rossendale, Penrith, St Annes Old Links, Lochmaben, Cavendish, Sandiway, Longridge, Blackburn, West Middlesex and Clitheroe with more to add on.
His mum’s hearing dog Lennie
Great effort by Burnley Capt
BURNLEY Golf Club Captain Lee Corns put himself through the pain barrier by running 60 miles over two days to raise funds for the golf club’s chosen charity – the childhood bereavement charity ‘Winstons Wish’.
Lee is an experienced marathon runner but he set himself a daunting challenge of running to all six golf clubs that are part of the East Lancashire Bench League.
Lee set off from Burnley golf club before running 29 miles to visit Colne and Stoneyhurst Golf Clubs.
Next day he started from Stoneyhurst and ran to Great Harwood, Rishton and Baxenden Golf Clubs before a big push saw him finish at his home club.
Lee said: “Even though I’ve run a few marathons nothing prepares you for the pain you feel when you have to get up on Day Two and run again.
”The hardest part was the final eight hard miles back to
Burnley GC but I am delighted that I smashed my target and raised over £800 for
the charity.”
Winston’s Wish helps children and young people rebuild their lives after the
death of a loved one, enabling them to face the future with confidence and hope
and the money Lee has raised will go directly to the therapeutic work the
Charity does.
Clare Richards, the North West fundraiser for the charity said: “Lee’s achievement is amazing and we are thrilled he picked Winston’s Wish.
“The funds raised will be used to help or work with children and young people across the UK- for example our drop-in services in Leigh, Wigan, Southport and Central Manchester and it will make a massive difference to families locally when they need supporting most.”
Not sure if you know but I was chosen as a Srixon Ambassador by the Virgin Atlantic Golf Team. I received a personalised tour bag, 6 doz balls and 6 caps. My commitment is to promote the Srixon brand and if I'm deemed to be the best, I will win a trip to the British Masters at Woburn and a full set of custom fit irons from the Srixon tour truck. Naturally, I'd like to win this prize!
Being chosen as an Ambassador for Srixon and the Virgin Atlantic Swingers was a great honour and has been fun. I was blown away by the quality of the prize, never mind the possibility of winning another phenomenal prize of a VIP trip to the British Masters at Woburn and a set of custom fitted irons.=
What have I done since being chosen? Well, promoted the Swingers League as always with every person I play with or against. The finals bag tags generally encourage questions and conversation but the personalised tour bag is a real conversation starter! There are a few jealous people out there!
To promote Srixon, I started #SrixonAmbassador & #SrixonMark and changed my Twitter picture to my Srixon prizes. Daily tweets have gathered me quite a few new followers which was unexpected. Some of my playing partners and friends have been the recipients of either a sleeve of AD333 Tour balls or a Srixon cap. I bought a red Srixon cap to go with a golfing outfit, part of being an ambassador really.
I've even converted a Cat1 player from Pro V to AD333 Tour, I described this as "missionary work."
When on a playing lesson with the pro at Burnley, he had to change balls as we both said "Srixon AD333 Tour, number 3". He changed to Z Star! If I'm seen by the pro without my Srixon cap, it gets mentioned, I did point out my cap on one day was the S11 Barbados finals cap.
When you talk to people about the finals I've qualified for and the numerous prizes and golf shirts received throughout the years, I've had said "it's too good to be true." I also find that whilst about to hit my next shot, I've thought of another great part of the community such as the Twitter banter, the forum, competitive leagues, bonus points and suddenly, I've messed up another hole. I need to focus more!
The Lady Captains husband nicknamed me "The Srixon Pro" and I'm now known as this by many at Burnley Golf Club, I'm happy to take the banter.
After receiving my Srixon prizes, my first game with the bag and balls was The Windmill Trophy at Lytham Green Drive, a 36 hole medal competition. I won by 4 shots, name on the board, trophy at home. Pictures attached. What a great testament to the AD333 Tour ball. I have complete confidence in the ball, holds its line in the wind and doesn't scuff much. I like the clean, bright white of the ball. My drives are straighter and, more consistent.
My tour bag sits side-on to my trolley, I see the logos and my name each time I go to my trolley, reminding me how lucky I have been to be part of this great community.
Every time I put a tee peg into the ground, it's a white or black Virgin Atlantic or a Gleneagles tee peg. Each tee shot brings back great memories of a once in a lifetime trip. Thing is, I've had a couple!
Next on the list? Win another tournament and buy some Srixon/Cleveland clubs. I'm thinking of a fairway or hybrid, maybe a putter too. Hopefully, play well enough to make the finals this year. If not, try again next year. One things for certain, I'm a convert to the AD333 Tour.
Highlights include:
Chapter 1) How to Properly Line Up Your Fourth Putt
Chapter 2) How to Hit a Maxfli ball from the Rough When You Just Hit a Titleist from the Tee
Chapter 3) How to Get More Distance off the Shank
Chapter 4) When to Give the Groundsman the Finger
Chapter 5) Proper Excuses for Drinking Beer Before 9:00 a.m
Chapter 6) How to Find That Ball That Everyone Else Saw Go in the Water
Chapter 7) How to Relax When You Are Hitting Three off the Tee
Chapter 8) How to Relax When You Are Hitting Five off the Tee
Chapter 9) When to Suggest Major Swing Corrections to Your Opponent
**********************************************************
The book also includes some GOLF
TERMINOLOGY:
DIDSBURY Golf Club’s winter green expert Alan Genter looks forward each year to frost and snow causing a move to temporary greens.
Alan, a serial winner in Didsbury seniors competitions, has a terrific record of big scores in winter with his highest individual mark being 51 points in a Seniors Stableford.
Recent winter conditions set up Alan for another big score in a Monday Roll up but there was a new twist as he holed his seven-iron tee shot on the temporary green on the fourth hole.
His well struck tee shot, witnessed by playing partners Graham Howarth and Len Cunningham, seemed to be heading some way left of the green.
A long search could not find the ball until Alan discovered it in the hole.
He said: “It must have hit the tree on the left of the green and bounced into the hole.
“But I will accept it as my first ace and I duly bought the amber nectar at the 19th hole to celebrate.
”I have recently had some useful tips from the club’s senior chip expert Frank Latham and they seem to have worked.”
We are delighted that you qualified to represent EUROPE at the final of Flying Club Swingers Season 11 in Barbados between Monday 10 and Thursday 13 November 2014.
Dear Mark
On behalf of Hearing Dogs for Deaf People I would like to thank the Manchester Teachers Golf Society for their very kind donation.
Your donation will help us continue to provide deaf people with ‘hearing dogs’. These dogs have been specially trained to alert their recipient to chosen everyday sounds. In many cases a hearing dog is just the start of new directions, goals and opportunities. They help to reduce the likelihood of social isolations, increased anxiety, depression and relationship stress and in doing so make a huge difference to the lives of deaf people.
Thank you once again for your support, it is very kind of you to think of us.
With very best wishes
Nicky
Great Value LessonsAs a visiting society of Ashton-Under-Lyne Golf Club, you are able to take advantage of our exclusive lesson prices with our specialist PGA coach Michael Boyle.
Exclusive Lesson Rates are as followed:
Private Lessons
1 Hour - Just £25!
6 x 1 Hour - Now Just £140!
Assisted with the latest video analysis technology via GASP swing analysis systems for Ipad, private lessons are the best way to quickly improve your game and start reducing your scores.
Group Lessons
Just £7.00 per person per hour! (min 5 golfers)
Fantastic value for money and great fun whilst improving your game is our group sessions. Great for quick practice sessions before your society events, the group lessons are available on either long or short game area, or book for 2 hours and do both! All golf balls are included in the price.
Special Organizers Offer
Should 4 members of your society book just one 1 hour private lesson with us, the organizer of the society will receive a FREE 1 hour private lesson!
To book a lesson with us, please contact 0161 330 1537 (option 2) or contact Michael our specialist golf coach on 07527 620840 & michaelpaul.boyle@virgin.net
Lessons are available Tuesday - Friday from 8am-6pm, and Saturdays 8am - 3pm.
Ashton-Under-Lyne Golf Club,
Gorsey Way,
Ashton-Under-Lyne,
Manchester,
OL6 9HT
Here is an actual sign posted at a golf club in Scotland UK :1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT, FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART.2. FORM A LOOSE GRIP.3. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!4. AVOID A QUICK BACK SWING.5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER.6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.7. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU8. DON'T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.9. QUIET PLEASE...WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING.10. DON'T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.WELL DONE.. NOW, FLUSH THE URINAL, GO OUTSIDE, AND TEE OFF.
NOTICES
In My Hand I Hold A Ball,White And Dimpled, And Rather Small.
Oh, How Bland It Does Appear, This Harmless Looking Little Sphere.
By Its Size I Could Not Guess The Awesome Strength It Does Possess.
But Since I Fell Beneath Its Spell, I've Wandered Through The Fires Of Hell
My Life Has Not Been Quite The Same Since I Chose To Play This Stupid Game.
It Rules My Mind For Hours On End; A Fortune It Has Made Me Spend.
It Has Made Me Curse And Made Me Cry, And Hate Myself And Want To Die.
It Promises Me A Thing Called Par, If I Hit It Straight And Far.
To Master Such A Tiny Ball, Should Not Be Very Hard At All.
But My Desires The Ball Refuses, And Does Exactly As It Chooses.
It Hooks And Slices, Dribbles And Dies, And Disappears Before My Eyes.
Often It Will Have A Whim, To Hit A Tree Or Take A Swim.
With Miles Of Grass On Which To Land,It Finds A Tiny Patch Of Sand.
Then Has Me Offering Up My Soul, If Only It Would Find The Hole.
It's Made Me Whimper Like A Pup, And Swear That I Will Give It Up.
And Take To Drink To Ease My Sorrow, But The Ball Knows .. I'll Be Back Tomorrow.
*******************
Stand proud you noble swingers of clubs and losers of balls!
A recent study found that the average golfer walks about 900 miles a year.
Another study found that golfers drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year.
This means that, on average, golfers get about 41 miles to the gallon!
Kind of makes you proud
Almost makes you feel like a hybrid.
Gazza the Coach
Was the 35 years wait worth it? Here's one blue who certainly thinks so, inspite of Carlos' recent efforts.
Jim would also have loved this
New photo of fondly remembered Past President Jim Harris
Photo of painting at Stretford (Trafford) Athletic Club
Denton's Samaritans Charity Day
Denton boost for Samaritans
DENTON Golf Club’s former President Gary Singh was delighted with the response to his first charity day at his club to support the Samaritans charity.
There were 43 teams of four in action enjoying the Texas Scramble format and there was generous support from a number of sponsors from around the Greater Manchester area and plenty of support on the day from the team members in raffles, donations and buying home-made jams, marmalades and chutneys made by Gary’s 80-year-old bridge partner Marjorie Hay.
Gary said: “It was a great day and in the end we raised just under £3,000 and have already booked a date for next year and I would like to thanks all who contributed to the charity.
“The winners were the Chain Gang from Denton and Houldsworth led by Phil Rudkin and his team of Tom Cook, John Drabblis and Danny Marsh who all used to work at Renolds Chains and they posted a winning score of 56.1.
“Next in were The Spireites from Chesterfield with 57.0.”
In attendance for the presentations was Maureen Mundey a director of the Manchester and Salfords Samaritans Branch.
Picture President Ray Proffitt, Maureen Mundey, Gary Singh, Lady Captain Laraine Gordon, Captain Terry Pottage
Geoff to be President at Didsbury?
According to Didsbury's web site Geoff has accepted this prestigious position. When asked about this Honour Geoff commented in typical fashion, "Its just a rumour a lot can happen between now and October". I'm sure all the Society would want to congratulate Geoff and wish him every success in his year as President.
Top award for Mottram Hall
The hard work put in by the dedicated staff at De Vere Mottram Hall was recognised at the recent 59Club awards dinner.
The 59Club sets the benchmark for golf service delivery in the UK and recognises venues for their commitment to client satisfaction through a number of key criteria including golf course presentation
The team led by Head of Golf Tim Hudspith scooped the 4-star service award with De Vere also winning the ‘Golf Group of the Year’ award.
Tim said: “We are looking forward to another great year at Mottram Hall with the course in great shape and over 550 new De Vere cub members have joined Mottram in the last 12 months.
“We will also be hosting a PGA Europro event in August.”
Pic- pictured ltr are the Mottram team Mark Addison, Stuart Stenhouse, Tim Hudspith, Matt Gibson, James Carpenter, Stephen Beech.
Alex McCord here sending greetings from the Isle of Skye. First of all can I just say that I miss the banter and friendship of the society since my move and from reading the news on the web-site nothing seems to have changed. Jarvis with the "Tetchy Hat" yet again. I have joined The Isle of Skye Golf Club since moving up, at the absolutely extortionate cost of £200 for a whole year. Ridiculous!!! Of course there are some things that have to be explained. Summer golf is difficult because of the dreaded midge. A small insect that has been known to cause a problem or two to any outdoor pursuit on the west coast of Scotland. Shorts and short sleeve attire is not a common sight on the west coast. Winter has its own problems. Wind, rain, mist, wind, snow, wind. And have I mentioned the wind?? On some holes it can be a good idea to actually face the opposite direction when teeing off.
Seriously, our little course is really beautiful. Only 9 holes, but with alternate tees for the back nine, a challenge for golfers of any standard. Only a huge 4677 yards, still an absolute joy to play and a course that changes every five minutes because of its position at the edge of the sea, surrounded by fantastic mountains, and a lovely little c
club house. Although not licenced, there is always a bottle of whisky or two for golfers to help themselves after a round.
Check out the club web-site.
Isle of Skye Golf Club dot something.
May I wish all members a great day at Bramhall (weather permitting----at the moment we are actually snowed in with tonight expected to drop to minus 20) and a lovely Christmas and Happy and healthy 2011.
All the very best.
Alex. McCord.
01470 572739
Mtgs Captain again winning Trophies
MTGS Captain Len Cunningham picked up his first trophy of 2010 in the WGTB Days Out Cork Challenge final at Mottram Hall.
Len won the Shortest Drive from the first tee cracking the ball a majestic 89 yards to the delight of all who saw it.
But Len and his partner Alan Genter posted a handy 36 points despite having their handicaps dropped to a maximum of a shot a hole.
MTGS superstars Robert Hands and Geoff Carter were in the prizes as they posted 40 points.
Pic - a delighted Alan Genter hands over the Shortest Drive Trophy to a slightly less amused Len Cunningham
Dave gets a lift
DIDSBURY Golf Club assistant professional Dave Mackinnon has enlisted some top help as he completes his preparations for this years Manchester 10k run.
Dave entered the event for the first time last year and completed the course in just over 54 minutes.
Again this year the charity he will be supporting is Street Games that supports sporting activities for children in deprived areas.
Dave is determined to beat last year’s time and also the amount of money he raised so he has drawn on the expertise of Didsbury member Ryan Birch.
Ryan was once the UK judo champion and competed in the Olympic Games in Atlanta and has also coached judo to all levels.
He joined in a series of upper body strength exercises with Dave to boost his campaign under the stern eyes of Manchester Schools FA football coaches Len Cunningham, Roger Jackson and Alan Genter.
Dave said: “It’s great to receive help from Ryan and I am sure that the work he has put me through will see me lower the time.
“If anyone wishes to sponsor me contact me at the pros’s shop on 0161 998 2811.
Pic watching Ryan left and Dave going through their paces on the first tee at Didsbury are ltr, Roger Jackson, Alan Genter, Len Cunningham.
Home
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Contact Us E-mail the webmaster with questions and/or comments about this Web site.
The latest Tetchy Hat is due to make its appearance in 2010
There is a prize for the first member to correctly identify the model, not Geoff, in the picture below. That's the easy bit. We would also like suggestions for the identity of the rider in the next picture. Tie breaker An alternative partner to Geoff for the Camel in the third picture All will be revealed in the new year Entries to GGGgarnett@aol.com
.
New Tetchy Hat makes its appearance at Brookdale
OLD
NEW
Many thanks to our model Len Cunningham ,the last holder of the dead cat.
New Singing Career for Hon Sec
NEW TIE
AVAILABLE PRESIDENT'S DAY
Didsbury Oct 26th
Praise to all members in 2006 for their reliability in turning up for meetings making the secretarial role very comfortable to deal with and if returns can be made sooner for future competitions that would also be a great help although last-minute requests to play can always be accepted- the golf organisation is not a problem it is just calling the correct meal numbers which can sometimes be a headache depending on the club we are playing at.
Also thanks to all who help out on the day checking cards, taking out markers etc – this is greatly appreciated along with those members who have helped set up our fixture list.
And our treasurer Terry Bithell deserves all of our thanks for his great efforts at all of our meetings for the unenviable task of collecting the money on the day.
I propose that Terry is made an honorary life member of MTGS and will not need to pay any fees for the rest of his time in the society.
A
Date Rape Drug
Be on the lookout!
Police warn all male clubbers, party-goers, and unsuspecting pub regulars, to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink by any woman. A date rape drug on the market, called "beer" is used by females to target unsuspecting men. The drug is found in liquid form, and is now available almost anywhere. "Beer" is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and have sex with them. Typically, a woman needs only to persuade a guy to consume a few units of "beer" and then ask him home for no-strings-attached sex. Men are rendered helpless by this approach. After several "beers" men will often succumb to desires to perform sexual acts with women to whom they would not normally be attracted. After drinking beer men often awaken with only hazy memories of what happened the night before.... usually with a vague feeling that something bad occurred.
At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life savings by a familiar scam known as "a relationship". Apparently men are much more susceptible to this scam after "beer" is administered and sex is offered by the predatory female.
Please! Forward this warning to every male you know. However, if you fall victim to this insidious "beer" and the predatory women administering it, there are male support groups with venues in every town where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter in an open and frank manner with similarly affected, like minded guys. For the support group nearest you, just look up "golf clubs" in the yellow pages.
Mike Claims Pique in his Award
Having read Vijay’s eloquent comments regarding the structure of our society, a recent event has persuaded me to put pen to paper (well fingers to keyboard) and to join in this scrutiny of our society. At the last meeting at Didsbury, together with my playing partner George Gleave, I had the honour to play against our esteemed Hon Sec and the ever-courteous Cedwyn. I assumed straight away that I had been selected as the most vulnerable member, having been absent for most of the last two years but at first I was pleased, as I had not played with Geoff for some time.
Alarm bells first rang when, before I could stop him, George suggested a side bet. Our secretary quickly accepted the idea and proposed the lofty stake of 50, 50, 50 - pence that is not pounds. Having known Geoff for at least thirty years, I immediately realised that we were in a no win situation. If we lost, we would be forced to endure the ignominy of defeat and if we won, we would inevitably suffer his wrath and consequential penalties. We won. I was therefore not surprised when, at the end of an otherwise enjoyable day, George was awarded both the Thrutcher trophies and I became the latest wearer of the Tetchy Hat.
Now dear members, I fully realise that I did my case no good by blurting out the expletive “bollocks” when my name was put forward by Geoff and this was in the presence of our revered captain Geoff Carter. I have to apologise to all the members for this outburst, but I claim that I was provoked. Mr Jones gave me my share of the stake immediately after the match but to get George’s stake from Geoff was very difficult. The first offering was a lowly Greek coin. Eventually the full payment of £1 was made but this included as much small coinage as he could find.
I respectfully suggest that this rather truculent behaviour by our Hon Sec is surely deserving of the Tetchy Hat.
PS. Following the event, two photographs were taken of me wearing the contentious hat. I have already warned our Hon Sec that I will sue if he publishes his version. Our esteemed president took a much softer photograph for our website that shows me wearing the hat and a suitably tetchy expression.
Hon. Sec. Replies
Regarding Mr Craven's response to the tetchy hat award
Any reasonable member of MTGS can see why it was awarded by the tone of the letter- need I say more!!!!
By the way it was not a Greek coin I paid my debts with so willingly but a Tunisian 100 dinar coin of great value - worth much more than £1
2dinar = £1 !!!
CAPTAINS FAREWELL DIDSBURY 2004
Gentlemen my year as Teachers Captain is nearly over I wish to thank you all for your support and commitment during 2004, despite weather conditions we have played some excellent venues, the competition winners and results indicating the fine range of golfers in the society and congratulations are due to all participants even those affected by GEOFF'S HANDICAPPING SYSTEM
It is gratifying that the Society goes from strength to strength and hope everyone will support next years Capt with the same enthusiasm. Before introducing my honoured speaker I would like to end my year in verse:-
To-day my time as Teachers Captain comes to an end
Its been an honour, a pleasure to have such friends
We have played lots of golf all to-gether
On excellent courses whatever the weather
At Didsbury,Warrington, Northenden, Frodsham & Crewe
We’ve enjoyed the days with golfers old and new
Who but Geoff could arrange so well
The golf the food the prizes and the jokes he tells
My highlight was at Houldsworth Captains Day
When we honoured our late colleague Mike Brennan and say
Grateful thanks to you all for the money we raised
For McMillan, Marie Curie I give you my praise
The winners that day, Alan & Steve Geoff & Paul
And tears were shed for Geoff that his handicap should fall
That was the day Gary Singh won a hat & a glove
But its not true he’s a Lesbian, wife stealer or Puff
And so my year ends on a high and say
Thanks to you all for making my day
And so I leave it to Geoff to make you aware
Of Capt 2005, a great guy good friend & golfer and declare
Our total support for him during his year
And finally to you all a Happy Christmas & a great New Year
And so I would like to introduce my honoured guest another great guy good friend a super golfer & cricketer holding 64 M/cr Alliance Competition winnings & 14 course records a brilliant golf tutor & after dinner speaker please welcome Mike Hollingworth
MANCHESTER Teachers’ Golf Society members are now among the most polite and appreciative society golfers in the country.
For during its 66th year in 2003 the innovative society Captain Chris O’Neill introduced a special award for ‘being tetchy to society officials’.
The award was a special Disneyland Wild West hat to be worn by the chosen victim throughout society events until a worthy successor was found in a future fixture.
Chris explained: “I originally thought of making it a ‘dummy-throwing award’ but this would have been boring as society stalwart Ivor Tomlinson would have won it on a permanent basis.
“Brian Tetlow was the first society ‘Tetchy’ and he was quickly followed by Jim Harris.
“But in the last meeting former society Captain Barry Winder, from Shaw Hill, clearly overstepped the boundary on three occasions and to the great delight of the society was presented with his new ‘trophy’ at the dinner. (see MTGS Celebs for photos)
“So the new Captain Geoff Carter and the other society officers can now continue to expect the utmost respect even to the extent of grovelling by a few creepy members
Barry Winder has recently set a new society record by being awarded the Tetchy Hat for a second time at this years(2004) President's Day meeting. The first hat was starting to show signs of severe mistreatment and has been replaced by a very green number.
BEST WISHES to Glyn Evans who is recovering well from his recent bypass surgery. Glynn hopes to be with us at Didsbury in December
Garry Singh's Letter
South Manchester December 2003-12-17
Dear Geoff,
As a long-standing member and former Captain of the prestigious 66-year-old Manchester Teachers Golf Society I am writing to you to express my feelings on a matter, which has been concerning me for some time
And the modern era of terrorists and asylum seekers it has really brought it home to me.
Even in this age of political correctness I must bring it to your attention that I believe that the society has been infiltrated by ethnic minorities to such a degree that they are now taking over.
For hundreds of years the Welsh have been invading across the border and the leader in MTGS of this movement is Cedwyn T Jones- a member since 1967.
In his wake he has brought fellow sheep shaggers such as Glyn Evans, Dave and Phil Roberts, Colin Hughes and Bill Griffiths.
Our President Roger Jackson also spends much of his time in the Principality recruiting more Taffy’s and last but not least we have our treasurer daffodil-sucking Terry Bithell.
While we are talking about Celts - I think that’s the correct word - look at names such as Peter McLoughlin, Chris O’Neill, Dominic McAllister, Gary Conroy, Mike Brennan, Kevin Hamilton, Harry McClellan, Ewan McCray and John Tierney - do I make my point clear!
Of course then we have Carlo Loftus, a Mafia man down to his boots, and Sabu Robinson and I’m not too sure about Barrow Gaskarth and as for Brian Tetlow- he’s a Scouser and I don’t have to elaborate on this.
But worst of all- who is this bloke called Bazzawinda.
All I know about him is that he used to open the batting for Pakistan with G Wattawanka.
To say I am disturbed is an understatement and the only true Sweet Chariot Englishmen I can see currently in the society apart from myself are Alan Atherton - his son was Captain of England -and yourself.
I remain your humble servant
Signed
Gary Singh
GARYS BACK PASSAGE TO INDIA re A Cooke
Greetings Sahibs from India, the promised land of Kama Sutra, elephants, remodelled Peugeots, dusky maidens, transistor radios, curry & diarrhea.
Had a good journey on a Jumbo bit draughty as the bloody ears were
flapping& you could only make trunk calls.
Played a round of golf at the Royal Vindaloo GC, its a hot course & the
President is Osama Ben Laden with no "Bushes" on the course & thats no
B-liar.It has 151/2 playable holes, squatters & teepees on the rest, sari clad caddies who clean your balls, stroke you around & encourage you to putt it in the hole whilst the Titleist elephant dung balls take some driving.
Our wedding party was held in the 19th hole 60 invited & 600 there all
cousins & caddies but fortunately the sacrificial bollock (sorry bullock)
just catered, & afterwards saw off Bride & Groom for honeymoon in Bradford, whilst to-night we have karaoke with a Singh song. Hope my voice is better than my golf.
Here's hoping you have the same weather as us its Monsoon season
Have a great day at Northenden. Geoff has my completed proxy winners card due to me getting withdrawal symptoms as my picture not in the paper.
Have booked my return journey with Stobarts transport via Calais so lots
of my brothers or fan club can join me as at our next venue we can all have
caddies & as a special treat have brought you all some curried rock
Yours Gary
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Last Updated 24-10-2011
Number :10
Golfer: "I think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."
Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long, sir?"
Number : 9
Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course."
Caddy: "Try heaven sir, you've already moved most of the earth."
Number : 8
Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?"
Caddy: "Yes sir .. . . . You miss the ball much closer now."
Number : 7
Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?"
Caddy: "Eventually, sir."
Number : 6
Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world."
Caddy: "I don't think so sir . . . That would be too much of a coincidence."
Number : 5
Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's too much of a distraction."
Caddy: "It's not a watch sir - it's a compass."
Number : 4
Golfer: "How do you like my game?"
Caddy: "It's very good sir - but personally, I prefer golf."
Number : 3
Golfer: "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?
Caddy: "I'm afraid the way you play sir, it's a sin on any day."
Number : 2
Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on."
Caddy: "But this isn't the golf course . . . We left that an hour ago sir."
And the Number : 1 . . . . Best Caddy Comment:
Golfer: "That can't be my ball, it's too old."
Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir."
Bonus . . .
An old favorite . . . about the Golfer who has been slicing off the tee at every hole . . ..
He finally gives up and asks his long suffering caddy . . .
Golfer: "Can you see any obvious problems . .. . ?"
Caddy: "There's a piece of shit on the end of your club."
The Golfer picks up his club and cleans the club face . . ..
Caddy: "No sir, it’s at the other end"